jgalswims

so i have no pain in the foot anymore. i know it's only been a couple weeks, but as i said earlier, it was a simple fracture. i'm very interested in finding out how the ankle has progressed in its healing since my last appointment. tuesday can't come fast enough.

my calf muscle has definitely shrunk. which will be awkward. but whatever. the cast feels gigantic around my leg, and there's too much space. i started putting a little pressure on it and it's fine. no more swelling either. so i'm back to ironing :(. hehe.

i'm quite sad without my exercise. my grad-school institute overlooks this brilliant track that i used to run around... and every time i look at it all i can think about is gearing up my nike+ ipod and running, running, running. i love running. not as much as swimming, but i think it's different than swimming anyway. i used to run with my dad when i was a kid. back when we used these huge 'sport' discmans that skipped the cd every 40 seconds and weighed at least 2 pounds. i'd put in one of my boy-band cds and away i went. i was obsessed, and i loved it. skip a few years to high school...running was my life. i ran cross country, and nothing was better than the early morning runs around the track before school. it would be pitch black outside. no cars would drive by on the road. it was simply me, chirping crickets, a light wind and darkness. the coach would yell pick-me-ups in the distance, but there was no focusing on that...i felt like the only person on planet earth, just turning my feet round and round. i felt light as a feather. the feeling was indescribable. i glided in the darkness, never tiring, watching the sun slowly wake up with its orange hello. i'd give anything to get that feeling back. ok, new goal. get well, and get that feeling back. see? it's as simple as that. and yes, i still listen to boy bands. and all other popular music from the comfort of my ipod nano.

i miss the swimming, too, but i try not to think about it too much. it's too sad. no, really. imagine your favourite thing in all the universe. maybe it's your car. maybe it's your dog or your kids or your morning coffee. and then imagine it being taken from you. i know it's temporary, but the pain hurts. swimming is my love.

i know i'm being dramatic. but that's just how i feel. i never intended this blog to be something really intimate...i just wanted to update people on my progress and raise money for my charity. but this is where my life is right now. so i have to write. it validates my existence and helps me know i'm still semi-talented at something other than swimming. so i keep saying it's temporary. this is temporary. it'll all be over soon and i'll be good as new. it's temporary...

--julieann--

"water makes it better. in the water, i am safe."
--marya hornbacher--

it's been a week now since the pothole incident. i can happily say that today was my first day without pain, which is great. the foot isn't swelling like it was and i can keep it un-elevated for a while before it starts throbbing. which is excellent. (it's all about keeping positive about the little things.) i go back to the hospital on the 22nd, and hopefully they will give me either a walking boot or a walking shoe for my cast. of course, i'm hoping they are able to put me in a walking boot so i can take it off to shower. sticking your leg out the side of the bathtub is just simply not comfortable, and certainly not hygenic.

my biggest problem hasn't actually been the foot. it's the bloody crutches they use here in ireland. think jimmy on south park. the ones with the holes for your hands that are more for crippled people than broken ankles. the ER nurse brought me in the crutches, and i was like 'ehh can i have the underarm ones?' and the lady was like 'no, we don't have those, they're bad for your nerves on your chest and underarm.' well guess what. these crutches are absolutely ridiculously painful on my wrists. i've never had strong wrists, and i blame swimming for that. but i've coped fine in life until these crutches. my wrists are constantly in arthritic pain. i do not understand how anybody finds those crutches better than the underarm ones. so, to alleviate my suffering, my fabulous brother found my pink crutches and they are currently en route to ireland. i never guessed i'd be using them again, but such is life, and i'm not really complaining. they are quite possibly the cutest cripple accessory in the world.



i made them myself before having my 4th surgery. they make paint that can go on metal, so i bought that and some pink bows and covers and ta-da. there are the most gorgeous pair of crutches on the market. i got stopped by any and everyone in austin, wanting to know where i got them. i felt uber-creative and artsy-fartsy by telling them that i made them myself. i bet the irish won't be as interested in them, and i'll probably just end up getting stared at. oh well.

so i'll update you when i find out the verdict on the cast on the 22nd. cross your fingers that i can put some pressure on it then...i'm sick of hobbling around on one leg!

--jgal--

so it's been a while since i've written, mostly because i am extremely busy with school and etc. training was going fabulous...i was running pain-free, swimming lots of distance and even got into the sea last saturday. the water was about 8 degrees C, which is around 46.4 degrees F. i stayed in the sea for about 8-10 minutes...and i believe that i handled the cold very well afterward. i was shaky and shivering for about 45 minutes, but recovered nonetheless. and then sunday happened.

it was my first and last 10k run. i started off strong, maybe a little too fast for my very slow running pace, but was around 26 minutes at the 5k and felt that i could easily go a 55-56 when i was at the 8k. the 7-8k was ROUGH. it was basically completely uphill. i held my pace as best i could, but you could definitely tell that i had absolutely no hill training. luckily, i don't think many of the runners at my speed had training either. so we all suffered together. so right as i'm topping my last hill before the 9k, i turn on a curve in the road and BAM! i fall to the ground. it doesn't register at first, probably because my ipod was up so loud and i was shocked that i was no longer turning my legs. and then it hit. pain that i haven't felt in a lonnnnng long time. 'oh no, not again, not again' i thought as i sat stunned in front of the passing runners. a runner and a spectator stopped by me and asked if i needed help getting up. 'i can't get up,' i said. and then i started to cry.

they took me by one arm apiece and moved me to the grass so i wouldn't block the runner's path. i was sobbing at this point, and it was hailing ice chunks and snow into my face. i was cold, and they wrapped jackets around me. i could only say thank you. while we were waiting for an ambulance, about 5 other runners fell in the same pothole. 'this is ridiculous,' said the irish lady propping up my leg. it was. the pothole was completely a hazard to the running path. it was so hard to notice that runners simply fell into it. i had the misfortune of being one who really, really fell into it. the ambulance came, and by that point i was sobbing and practically incoherent. i was so cold, and the pain was so intense.

the next few scenes are a blur, but i remember going to the medical tent and was apparently examined by a doctor there who wrote me a note to the ER so i could get seen ahead of the queue. they fed me nitrous oxide and it made me feel fuzzy and stoned...i didn't like it one bit. my voice sounded a hundred miles away when i'd speak, but it was taking away the pain, so i kept sucking. i calmed a bit while the sirens were blaring through junctions and stoplights. we arrived to the hospital and i was wheeled into the ER. a doctor came to me almost immediately and asked a couple questions. and then she examined it and told the EMS guys that it was broken. sobbing again. yes, the pain was still intense, and i knew that it shouldn't hurt so bad when i was cracked up on laughing gas, so i figured it was broken. so i just sat there and sobbed my sorrows, feeling foolish and childish.

i'm in a pink cast now, and will be for the next 6 weeks. obviously, i can't swim, and definitely, i'll not be running again. i am lucky though, because it broke below this apparent surgery line, so i won't need surgery or anything. just 6 weeks in the cast and i should be golden. so it's really not that much of a setback. i will be back to normal in mid-june...plenty of time to get back into shape and start swimming in the sea!


i know it could've happened to anybody, but naturally it would happen to me since i am a complete klutz. i've learned my lesson, no more exercising on land!

more later-

julieann

ps: thanks for all your support, friends. it's really meant a lot, and keeps me positive when i get frustrated.